Current Trending Topics on the Discipline and Love forums.....

Current Trending Topics on the Discipline and Love forums.....

Just click on the topic title to access the all the replies and ensuing discussions on the D & L Forums. 
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From our new member and moderator, Damien,  four brand new topics:

Power versus Control
 
Let's kick things off! In my introduction I mentioned that I believe in control as opposed to the use of power. A couple of people asked how I differentiate between the two.

With the use of power I can/could make her/him submit to me. The result of this, while for all intent and purpose would ultimately have the same result, it would lack fulfilment.

With the use of control, I can make her WANT to submit to me.
To me personally, her desire to submit to me is paramount.

What's more important to you, his/her ability to make you submit?
Or his/her ability to control not only you but themselves and inspire a need or desire in you to WANT to submit?

Goals
As either a Dominant or a Submissive, what are your goals in terms of your position within your relationship?

Are your goals primarily based on yourself as an individual or are they based on the relationship and the long term benefits as a couple?

Who do you think is responsible for you achieving the goals you set?



Fear and a relationship based on Dominance and Submission

  For those of you who are in the early stages of developing a relationship based on Dominance and Submission, what are your fears?

Do you have any fears?

For those of you who are already in an established relationship based on Dominance and Submission, did you initially have any fears?

Did those fears come to any fruition or has your relationship progressed enough to surpass your initial fears?

Have you developed any long term fears/anxiety relating to the longevity of your relationship?

Is your significant other aware of those fears and have you discussed strategies that can alleviate the anxiety?

Are you aware of any fears or anxiety experienced by your significant other relating to your relationship dynamics?


What's more important to you?

For those with a submissive nature that were brave enough to ask their significant other to take control of the relationship. What's more important to you, having your own needs met or do these needs come second to the health of your relationship as a whole.

Same question directed to those Dominant natured people who sought a DD or D/s relationship?



Goals

As either a Dominant or a Submissive, what are your goals in terms of your position within your relationship?

Are your goals primarily based on yourself as an individual or are they based on the relationship and the long term benefits as a couple?

Who do you think is responsible for you achieving the goals you set?



From Avidrita

Are you out of the closet?

Where i live, our dynamic is considered deviant and often disgusting to others. Admittedly, we live in an extremely liberal community that emphasizes female autonomy, so female submission in particular is offensive to many.

As a result, I struggle as a submissive with 'coming out' to friends and family. To some extent, it's none of their business just as anything anyone does in the intimacy of their relationship is no one's business. But in a larger sense, I often feel uncomfortably that I am hiding something from those closest to me.

As both Dominants and submissive, how public are you about your dynamic? How private? Do you ever get into difficult situations just by holding back? What reactions do you get when you are open? I wonder if Dominants get more positive feedback when they are public than submissives?